I like how sweet and tender this one comes across... I in no way could offer advanced critique for this one though.

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thanks! maybe i should change "advanced critique" to the normal setting. i'm pretty happy with this one the way it is. then again, i don't want to discourage anyone who might have some amazing way to improve it.

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"She hears my soulful song and holds me tight
and preens my wounded id and drowns my fear.
The pounding of my blood distorts my sight."

That second line:
"and preens my wounded id and drowns my fear"
-is that "id" intentional. For if so...

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Love, love, love it!!!

An absolute feast for the eyes and ears.

I really enjoyed reading this. I can't say much else, apart from totally AWESOME!

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Basically, there's a theory out there that the soul is divided into three driving forces: the id, which is controlled by earthly desires; the ego, which tries to regulate balance between the id and the super-ego; and the super-ego, which could basically be considered the Jiminy Cricket of the three.

Hope I helped you out a little!

Wow. So lusty, yet so loving!

About the last stanza; I think I would switch the last two lines, so it reads thus:

Her earth and body win my lust. I bite
her flesh and drink her in and hold her near,
she stills my blood to give me earthly sight.
And still she dazzles me with sepia light.

Or maybe, I would do this instead:

Her earth and body win my lust. I bite
her flesh and drink her in and hold her near,
and still she dazzles me with sepia light.
And stills my blood to give me earthly sight.

But these are just random thoughts.

I LOVE how, in several stanzas, the narrator is so cute/nervous that "The pounding of [his] blood distorts [his] sight", but in the last stanza, she returns it to him: "She stills my blood to give me earthly sight." (Assuming the narrator is a man, which may or may not be the case.) This reoccurring image of "sight" really adds to the earthy, lusty mood in the poem.

I'm still a bit confused as to what you mean by "Her smallest crust of bread can down my flight". I know that literature doesn't have set rules, or right and wrong answers, but I'm having trouble coming up with my own solid interpretation here. What were you, as the poet, going for here?

"She" is an earth-mother type: nurturing, warm, down-to-earth, sexy but in a way that can only yield procreation. "She" is an embodiment of everything beautiful about the physical world. Bread, symbol of all that is edible, is part of her realm and keeps the speaker from getting too flighty. "She" keeps his (the speaker's violent nature even in love and his pounding blood i think define him as male) feet on the ground, as it were. The form of the villanelle demands that the repeating lines go in order in the last stanza.

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thanks so much! and thanks for the as well.

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Tots and Teens: The Children's Literature Contest --Amazing literature and amazing prizes!!

"id" is a freudian term for the basic, carnal, impulsive desires that the conscious mind and sense of morality balance out. [link] and [link]

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Tots and Teens: The Children's Literature Contest --Amazing literature and amazing prizes!!

Thanks! Oh, and sorry about the order of lines thing; I'll have to go research the villanelle now. Once again, good job!