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i. Letting Patroclus Go

I stand, towering over your head, little one,
Teaching you how to feed yourself
While hiding behind your self.

Smell, smile, a gift of transient emotion.
You refuse to let me feed you,
So I feed you the illusion,
Holding your hand while you hold the spoon.

A glance upward.

How much longer can I keep you like this, pumpkin blossom,
The fiery hair that shares my name?


ii. Sleep by Volition

Gravity makes fools of us all.
You can feel it, down to your very bowels,
Can you not? The postural change,

Pulling you down onto wobbly legs,
Weak ankles that don’t support your weight yet.

I’ll hold you a different way. I’m glad I do,
I’m privileged with a rare view.
Light dances on your cheek,
Shadow skips across your eye.

Sleep slowly takes you into her bosom
While I teach you to sleep on mine.

An eye opens, finds itself too weak to support the night,
Then closes, seeing me as if I were
A dream on the lid of the tiny sleeper’s eye.
©2007-2010 ~batousaijin
:iconbatousaijin:

Author's Comments

*EDIT*
So :icondragonfly2093: made some really helpful suggestions (a lot, actually), and while I didn't choose to implement all of them, I did find some of them extremely useful. Thanks for reminding me that every single word of a poem needs to be deliberate.


I wrote these short poems near my son's birthday, May 10. He's one year old now, but he still has a lot to learn. For those of you who haven't read the Iliad or seen the movie Troy *barf*, Patroclus is Achilles's nephew. His death sends Achilles into an unknown realm of rage and fury. He becomes so incredibly furious, he fights a river... and wins. I guess I thought of my son as being similar to Patroclus because that's how I'd become if anything happened to him. *EDIT* I'm not sure now why I chose "Patrocleia," but the reason I gave here doesn't seem as relevant as it used to. I still love the title. It fits, but I can't exactly say why anymore.

Comments


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:iconmarchingstitch:
Aww I can feel the love radiating from these. You're such an amazing writer. Your son is lucky to have you for a father!

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<3 Marching
:iconbatousaijin:
are we doing random emoticons now? how's this... :resume:

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Tots and Teens: The Children's Literature Contest --Amazing literature and amazing prizes!! :typerhappy:
:iconbatousaijin:
lol, I'm sure he won't see it that way when he's a teenager! :lmao:

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Tots and Teens: The Children's Literature Contest --Amazing literature and amazing prizes!! :typerhappy:
:iconmarchingstitch:
Unless he's getting you to write poems for his girlfriends for him! :giggle:

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<3 Marching
:iconbatousaijin:
Lame. that'd be like me teaching him how to kiss. no no no. if he wants to be man enough to date girls, he's gotta learn to write his own poetry. :rofl:

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Tots and Teens: The Children's Literature Contest --Amazing literature and amazing prizes!! :typerhappy:
:iconmarchingstitch:
hehehe, nice! :D

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<3 Marching
:iconbatousaijin:
seriously though, what did you think of the poem.

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Tots and Teens: The Children's Literature Contest --Amazing literature and amazing prizes!! :typerhappy:
:iconyumelenawawe:
I loved it :) I was at a loss for words, hense the emote.

Details

May 17, 2007
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