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On the Bayou by ~batousaijin:iconbatousaijin:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Nature > Open


Peat begets muck,
muck begets sludge
     begets bog begets bayou.

A delta island is self-contained
and self-sustaining,
busting its seams with
monsoon charity, filling its
     hoppers, creepers,
          slither-sliders,
with cornucopic plenty.

Thanksgiving on the bayou
is no different from that of man
                       in his cities—
death by disease, famine,
and the bloodlust of the other.
©2008-2009 ~batousaijin
:iconbatousaijin:

Author's Comments

UPDATE
Also submitted to :iconwriters-workshop:. Some non-fictional thoughts I had about ecosystems and life and death in a swamp based on the *fotoFRIDAY prompt.

:iconfotofriday: prompt, Gullinn Vatnaskil

Comments


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:iconinspiredimperfection:
=inspiredimperfection Feb 19, 2008, 1:00:51 AM
you know.. i thought this was for the writers-workshop!! because it does sorta fit into that too, dont you think? :)

great writing :clap:

--
Brain tingles ftw :bucktooth:
:iconbatousaijin:
~batousaijin Feb 19, 2008, 6:18:03 AM
thank you! i might enter it, we can do more than one entry. ever since i read billy collins Sailing Alone Around the Room i've been taking a non-fiction type approach, like [link] and [link]

--
Tots and Teens: The Children's Literature Contest --Amazing literature and amazing prizes!! :typerhappy:
:iconlivingtoxic:
~livingtoxic Feb 19, 2008, 4:31:57 PM
On a first read,

A doomscape is painted and the photo is re-depicted with the peat-related words you used.

It is kinda strange to read a "bayou" poem by a "batousaijin" but in this case I think it works.

Fav words are "bayou" and "cornucopic" albeit cornucopic and plenty used together seems redundant to me.

I find the "other" in "the bloodlust of the other" a tone too vague.

Hope this's helpful and cheers for doing FF's prompt.

--
Art lives from constraints and dies from freedom. (Leonardo da Vinci)
:iconbatousaijin:
~batousaijin Feb 19, 2008, 5:09:26 PM
thanks much! :D why strange that batousaijin writes a "bayou" poem? :? they're pronounced differently: /ba-to-saɪ-dʒiŋ/ vs. /'baɪ-jʉ/ . The only vowel they have in common is the diphthong, "aɪ," and that is paired with a different consonant in each.

--
Tots and Teens: The Children's Literature Contest --Amazing literature and amazing prizes!! :typerhappy:
:iconlivingtoxic:
~livingtoxic Feb 19, 2008, 7:10:30 PM
It's the ba.

:D

--
Art lives from constraints and dies from freedom. (Leonardo da Vinci)
:iconinspiredimperfection:
=inspiredimperfection Feb 20, 2008, 3:13:29 AM
ooh i just saw those, yep it looks like this workshop has arrived in perfect timing for you :nod:

--
Brain tingles ftw :bucktooth:
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